When I was transferring my blogs from Multiply to this site (WordPress), all the bitter sweet memories from the past flashed back. Sometime I laughed when I read my old post and thought… geez… was it really me who wrote it? That post was very ridiculous! Or sometime I still could remember how painful I was in some certain condition. But most of the time, I smiled when I saw all my sweet memories. All the remembrance of my travelling, important occasions like my birthday, my best friend’s wedding and birthday, christmas, easter, etc is never fail to give me a warm heart feeling. It reminds me how beautiful and blessed my life is despite of a few bad things that happens.
Like my previous years, year of 2011 also had bitter and sweet memories. Oh well, maybe it has more bitter memories, because it seemed that I struggled a whole lot more last year. However I refuse to admit and call it a bitter year. I would rather call it THE YEAR OF PATIENT ENDURANCE.
As I mentioned in my previous post, in 2011 I was struggling very bad in my job that caused me getting stress and mild depression. I gained weight. I was sick most of the time. I was always anxious and tired. I did not have work life balance. I lost my confidence. In addition, one of my best friend hurt my heart so much just one day before my birthday. Bottomline, I was not really happy.
However, through the process I learned a few things that enables me to have the patient and endurance last year.
The first thing that I learned is that I can not depend on put my hope in other people. Because people, even your BFF, can fail you and make you dissapointed. I can only depend on and put my hope and trust in God alone. Only God can understand the deepest of my heart: my hurts, loneliness, desires, and dreams which other people may not understand. And God, being God, is able to comfort me when others can not.
I also learned to keep my faith in God eventhough I had not seen the light in my dark tunnel. Sometime I had a pitty party, too. But then I was being reminded that what I thought and said was becoming my faith. The bible said in Hebrew 11: 1 : “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see”. So everyday I learn to thank God for His favor and blessing in my life, to believe that good days are ahead of me, to trust that God still has so much in stores for me, eventhough I may not see it now.
I also learn to get to know myself better. I learned about my weaknesses and strength. I tried to understand what make me angry, sad, or happy, what motivates me to work and not, what I appreciate the most from people, what I hate from a relationship, what I want and do not want. I tried to make some improvements such as to be more positive, patient, more forgiving, and to take life more lightly. I may not not succeed all the time, but I am sure I am in the process of becoming a better person.
Last but not least, I learned that friendship may not last forever, but every friends that come into my life is a treasure. I really treasure my friends, old and new, who had given me support and love in my journey in 2011. I thank all my friends for cheering with me when I was happy, to be an ear when I needed to share my stories, to make time to spend time with me, and to accept me as I am (but not hesitated to tell me when I was going to wrong direction). It meant a lot to me.
I want to say good bye again to 2011 and welcome the 2012. This is my faith: I will walk in right direction because God is directing my steps and causing me to be at the right place and the right time, new doors will be open, I am blessed because God’s favor bringing increase and victory, I will walk in divine health, I will meet my someone special, I will be debt free, and I will defeat all my problems.
I believe it will be the year of restoration and favor for me. I am going to bounce back with God’s grace.
Live Fullest Life 